and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Randomize
