just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
the condom got lost in my hair
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
This is classic penis vs brain.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
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