Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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