He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Randomize
