I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
