i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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