Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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