I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
