i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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