My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
So squirting runs in the family.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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