you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Randomize
