Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I yelled at your uterus for you.
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