I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
