Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
