i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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