I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
