You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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