Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
