You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
