it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I think my moral compass just broke
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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