He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Randomize
