I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize