You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
