You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
