she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
