The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
honey bunches of taint.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
