i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
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