I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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