he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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