lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Randomize
