I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I will be naked everywhere
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
