dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
it's like heaven, but drunker
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
