I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
