I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Randomize
