this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
