Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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