id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
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