tell your sister to shave her snatch
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
