you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
