I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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