Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
