Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
