I'm lost and stupid without you.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
