I am puke
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
