Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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