Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
