oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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