Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
