I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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