I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Edward fifth and chaser hands
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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