The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
