I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
this will be a night to untag.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
as a side note pls kill me
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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