this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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