I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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