Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
