I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
