you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize