I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize
