I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
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