Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
