The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
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