do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Randomize
