In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
Randomize