I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
